puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
