so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
