The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
