So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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