is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
