end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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