Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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