I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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