***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
