I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
