In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
