I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
