I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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