I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Randomize