Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
