he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize