We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize