He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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