I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize