You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Less talking, more tequila
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
