I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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