i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
