come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize