Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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