You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
