It's Friday. Sex?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
