i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
