ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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