The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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