you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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