What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
