Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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