Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize