Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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