Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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