He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
