Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
