I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
