Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
