It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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