So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
