I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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