Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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