Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize