I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
