Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
