Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
