I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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