it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
