i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
