Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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