You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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