I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
