Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
