What a fucking waste of an outfit
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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