i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I think your dad took our porno
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
