Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
