So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
