Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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