You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
