Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
