she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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