She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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