He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
sex in a hospital.. check
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