well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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