just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
