dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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