At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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