pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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